After months of wondering, political junkies - of a certain sort - finally got their answer: the hairspray brand Callista Gingrich uses to keep her platinum blond bob tornado-resistant is Kenra Volume Spray 25. Yes, 25 is the highest Kenra’s “hold index’’ goes, but no, it’s not expensive. You can buy a 16-ounce two-pack on Amazon for $35.
The grooming revelation came in a New York Times profile of Gingrich’s hair - the subject of national interest because of its resemblance to Lego snap-on hair. I rushed out and got my own bottle because I had to know: What would it feel like to walk around with hair that looks so perfect?
Sadly, I’ll never know. Because I forgot the first step: In order to look perfect after an application of Kenra Volume Spray 25, your hair has to look neat to begin with. Otherwise, what you will shellac into place will be your ordinary, everyday style - in my case, it might generously be called “casual.’’ That doomed me to an entire day of looking perfectly messy, with no chance of redemption. To brush it was to worsen matters.
Remember how Callista Gingrich’s hair reportedly caused problems with her husband’s top staff in June, when most resigned in part, NBC reported, because she allegedly refused early-morning campaign flights so she could get her hair done?
Well, my own team was equally unnerved. “Don’t say you’re my mother,’’ my 10-year-old pleaded. But in an age when many children are woefully ignorant about the effects of hard-core hairspray, my boy got himself an education.
“Can I feel it?’’ he asked. Then: “What’s that hard paper called that’s not cardboard?’’Beth Teitell can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow her on Twitter @bethteitell.