United Bates of America 9 p.m., TLC
We are all one in our prayers for Bates, who has been thrown in jail for the murder of his awful wife. So dignified, so brave, he is our national hero. The way he overcame his troubled past and his alcoholism — so inspiring. Free Bates Now! Free Bates Now! Oh wait, this is another freaky reality show about an overstuffed family with 19 children and not “Downton Abbey”-related programming? Nevermind.
Hotel Hell 8 p.m., Channel 25
Just what we need. Another series in which Gorgon — I mean Gordon Ramsay gets to yell and scream, to help struggling lodging establishments in the States. In tonight’s premiere, he checks into a Vermont inn that has an odor problem and a proprietor who doesn’t treat the staff well.
Intervention 9 and 10 p.m., A&E
Season 13. Another opening, another woe.
MythBusters Jawsome Shark Special 10 p.m., Discovery
Ji’m jick of jarks.
The Closer 9 p.m., TNT
Thank you, thank you so much.