Arts

THING TANK

From hacked bakeries to healthy weasels

DOUGH NO

The spelt muffins at Plymouth’s Blue Blinds Bakery may be piping hot, but their Facebook page is positively on fire. Actually, it’s more negatively on fire. There’s not really a positive way to be on fire, I guess. In any case, an ex-employee of the bakery appears to have hijacked the page in order to protest a litany of alleged sexist, racist, homophobic, and abusive behaviors and beliefs on the part of the Twelve Tribes community behind the bakery — allegations the owners have called “utterly untrue.” Unrelated: I have a bunch of day-old bread puns I’m not using if anyone needs some.

TURNED OFF

Japan’s first-ever Adult VR Fest, showcasing the latest advancements in porn technology, was forced to cancel due to intense overcrowding at the venue. “Now how are we supposed to have sex?” asked thousands of people in immediate physical proximity to each other on an island.

MAJOR CATCH

Last week’s launch of the addictive new mobile game/nefarious government surveillance matrix Pokémon Go led to an immediate surge in vitamin D levels across dork populations, as well as a spike in armed robberies, discovered corpses, Holocaust museum reprimands, and, of course, Pokémon Go hoax stories. One thing that didn’t go up? Cousin Eric’s chances.

PILL DROPPERS

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The US Fish and Wildlife Service announced plans to employ drones to bombard a colony of endangered black-footed ferrets with M&Ms covered with vaccine. “Must be nice,” said a dog in the waiting room at the vet.

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MICHAEL ANDOR
BRODEUR

Michael Andor Brodeur can be reached at michael.brodeur@globe.com. Follow him on Twitter: @MBrodeur.