Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer 8 p.m., CBS
You know Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen. But do you recall that Hermey, the blond elf from this animated holiday classic, is gayer than Ikea on Super Bowl Sunday? Before you dismiss this theory, let’s analyze: He can sing and dance on par with Neil Patrick Harris, he enjoys an occasional same-sex sleepover, and don’t get me started on that hair. Girl, you are not fooling anyone. OK, perhaps I’m reading a little too much into “Rudolph.” You watch (yet again) and determine for yourself.
The Biggest Loser 8 p.m., NBC
Now this is just cruel. Not only are these poor contestants probably already tired and hungry, now they have to load up a truck full of Thanksgiving goodies for a food drive. And they don’t get to eat so much as a single yam. They’re also facing the possibility of a double elimination this week. Suddenly I’m feeling a lot more grateful for my mother’s famously overcooked turkey and lumpy gravy.
Snooki & JWoww 10 p.m., MTV
Baggage Battles 9 p.m., Travel
Packed with excitement.
Brooklyn Nine-Nine 8:30 p.m. Fox
Missing it is criminal.