My Cat From Hell: Helli-day Special 9 p.m., Animal Planet
I’ve watched enough episodes of this show (meaning I’ve watched every single one of them) to know that however poorly a cat behaves, feline aggression is always the owner’s fault. Everyone knows that cats are just sweet baby angels covered in fur. Therefore I will take great delight as cat whisperer Jackson Galaxy works with a feline that urinates all over its family’s gifts. I suspect the cat is doing this because it’s sick of getting a catnip mouse every year. I’d urinate all over the family gifts if I got the same boring present every year too.
Duck Dynasty 8 p.m., A&E
Truth be told, I’m not suggesting that you watch this garbage (watch “Meet Me in St. Louis” on TCM instead), but I just needed to say that I don’t find “Duck” patriarch Phil Robertson’s anti-gay remarks offensive. Why? I tend to ignore the ramblings of people who resemble unkempt members of ZZ Top, employ hate speech, and kill innocent wildlife for a living. I certainly don’t intend to start listening to their malarkey now.
Christmas in Norway With the St. Olaf Choir 9 p.m., PBS
Insert appropriate Betty White “Golden Girls” witty quip here.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills 8 p.m., Bravo
The silicon valley.
The Great Christmas Light Fight 9 p.m., ABC
May your days be merry and bright, but not this bright.