Q. I had several surgeries during the past year and needed help from friends during my recovery. They have been generous with their time, caring for me and my three boys so my husband could work. I have paid them in cash and gifts to show my gratitude.
The problem is, I caught two of my friends stealing my pain medications. The first incident was so blatant that I immediately ended our relationship. I then caught the second friend skimming a few pills every visit. There is no mistake. I know if I confronted him, he would deny it or blame someone else, so I haven’t bothered.
Now my pills are locked up. But I can’t seem to forgive or forget. I feel violated and taken advantage of and can’t seem to move forward. Please advise.
OUT OF MEDS
A. If these friends are addicted to pain pills, they probably could not control themselves when access was so simple. You have taken the necessary steps to be sure there is no additional theft. If it will make you feel better, tell the second friend that you are aware that he stole your pills. State it as a matter of fact, not as a question, and suggest he get professional help for his addiction.
Q. My husband and I play golf once a week with three other couples, and all of us go out to eat afterward.
I am cold in air-conditioned restaurants, so I prefer to eat outside. The others say it’s too hot, too buggy, or too windy, so I never get to eat where I like. I think we should rotate choosing restaurants so we each get a turn to select the one we want. What do you think is fair?
A. Taking turns is fair, but it will only work if the others agree. So, by all means, ask them. If your golfing buddies prefer not to change the current setup, we recommend you save your outdoor dining for other occasions.
Q. “My Heart Is Aching for Lonely Seniors” made a plea for family members to visit loved ones who are in a nursing home. I have a suggestion that has worked well for us.
My mother had a stroke and now is mostly confined to her home. We installed video telephones that allow Mom to see the kids and the kids to see her. The young kids like to show off for Mom and let her see their homework and projects, and of course, Mom adores seeing them.
With a video phone (or Skype or anything else like it), the entire family can gather around to wave and say hi to Mom. It is almost like being there. G.
A. Technology offers wonderful ways to stay in touch. Thanks for the suggestion.
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