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Ask amy

She’s an alcoholic and wants to change

Q. I just ended a five-year relationship by cheating on my fiance. I am not proud of what I did. Alcohol played a factor, and I had done it before.

He left me (not that I blame him) and I finally got the freedom I so sorely wanted. I’m 27 and think the idea of marriage freaked me out. But now that I’ve been single for about a month, he’s all I can think about.

I began to drink heavily at least four to five times a week to try to forget him, but it made me feel worse.

I want to change. Any ideas on how to get myself out of this heartbreak rut? Or am I stuck like this until time wipes the slate clean?

A. My vision for your future looks like this.

You: Sober.

You are lonely, depressed, and either drinking or not drinking — or thinking about drinking or not drinking.

You are an alcoholic (even if you aren’t currently drinking) and until you surrender to this reality and choose to do something about it, the sad rut you are in will become an unwinnable trench warfare against an enemy that is bigger and stronger than you are.

Your self-awareness is going to be a strength as you do what you need to do to get help and feel better. You should seek a medical evaluation and therapy (in addition to medication).

But start by attending an AA meeting today. It is the quickest, bravest, and smartest choice you can make in the short term.

Q. What’s the protocol on throwing away disposable diapers at someone else’s home?

Our family (and most of our friends) use cloth diapers, so this hasn’t been an issue in our house until recently. Now a couple has been visiting us more often with their toddler. They have been throwing their used disposable diapers (with poop) in our house’s sole trash can.

I think this is rude to do without asking.

We don’t generate much trash, so those diapers could end up festering in our kitchen for more than two weeks.

Should I ask them to please take their trash out with them, or is this one of those unpleasant aspects of having guests over that I need to grin and bear?

A. I was stumped here, so I posted a version of this question on my website: Askamydaily.com. The responses contained many suggestions.

First, the poop. For lack of a more delicate description, your guests can and should “shed the solids” in the toilet, the way you do with cloth diapers.

Once this has been done, the dirty dipe will be more tolerable to your trash can, and I (and the majority of respondents) think you should tolerate it.

Send questions via e-mail to askamy@tribune.com or by mail to Ask Amy, Chicago Tribune, TT500, 435 N. Michigan Ave., Chicago, IL 60611.