Q. I visit my cousins in England every summer, and last summer the best friend of my cousin’s boyfriend was really into me. I never really got to know him, so nothing happened. This year he told his buddy he really wanted to be with me. The catch was that I only had a week in England. We went out every night with the two of them, and I started liking him. But nothing happened, and I was getting annoyed. He barely flirted and never texted or did anything to demonstrate interest. It was like he was 13 years old.
On my last night there, we went to a club where foam was coming out of vents, and we all went into the foam and danced. He started touching me, and we went to another section and hooked up. Then he said, “Can this be our little secret?” I asked why, and he said, “Well, because I have a girlfriend.”
I hate cheaters, and I told him that, but my heart was telling me to just go with it while my mind was like, no, this is awful. When we got back to our friends, I couldn’t even talk to him because no one was supposed to know .
I returned to America and texted him, saying, “Sorry if I was unpleasant by the end of the night. I was just annoyed.” I expected him to answer, “What did you get annoyed about?” so I could explain, but instead I got, “It’s OK, it happens.” I hate the fact that there is this huge miscommunication, and that is what I really want to fix. What should I do to start feeling better?
A. I have a hunch you are in your late teens, which means your obsessing will be a thing of the past before you know it. Trust me. To feel better, I would suggest facing reality. As the Brits would say, you were the bit on the side. There was no miscommunication. He texted you the way he did so he could end the discussion.
Try to keep in mind your disdain for cheaters. And let’s face it: You live more than 3,000 miles apart, so stressing over one week a year doesn’t make a lot of sense. What you are doing is spinning your wheels, not moving on. If you want to hook up one week a year, I’m sure the young man would be agreeable.
Q. In your response to the woman who felt some of her guests were acting like paparazzi by taking pictures in her home and then posting them on Facebook, I did not see you mention the number one reason for not allowing people to post photos taken on your property. Many recent Internet articles have warned us that newer digital cameras embed GPS coordinates of where the photo was taken. Ergo, enterprising burglars have seen valuables, downloaded the photo(s), imported the GPS coordinates to their own GPS device, and presto, they can be led directly to a potential burglary sight.
A. You saw no mention of this important information because I had no idea such a thing was possible. I will happily share your valuable information with a wide audience. So: Regarding the letter you refer to, in addition to being rude and presumptuous, such ad hoc pictures could be an invitation to burglars, complete with addresses.
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