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The Boston Globe


Love Letters

She’s a runner

Q. Here’s the scenario: I am a late-20s professional, hard-working woman. I have an 8-year-old son and a teen brother who live with me. Just me and my boys. I have been single for about seven years by choice. After leaving my son’s father, I decided to work on my education, my career, and to nurture my relationships with friends and family. I’ve dated on and off within those years, had a few short-term monogamous relationships (five months max), and had a lot of fun being single. I’m a highly confident woman and I very much know my worth.

Being the happy, single gal that I am, I was taken completely off guard by an amazing man I’ve been dating for about three months now. He is more than I could have ever asked for. Our relationship thus far has been very successful and healthy. The problem is me. I’m a runner — as in I run away from relationships. Which is why I haven’t had any long-term relationships in years. But he is honestly the first guy that I haven’t wanted to run away from. He’s good to me and for me. We fit. I want to stay, but every day I have to talk myself into not breaking it off with him. Every day. And he picked up on this from the beginning. He is loyal and a man of integrity. He knows my worth as I know his. But the anxiety I’m suffering from this is stifling. I just want to give up because I have way too much going on and I’m not sure I can care for another person, not the way he deserves. Why am I trying to sabotage this good thing by leaving? He has me flustered and confused with no plan and no way to prepare because I don’t know how to do this love thing. It’s turning me into a hot mess.

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