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The Boston Globe


Love Letters

Waiting for a ring

Q. I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years. I’m in my early 30s, he’s in his mid-30s. When we first started dating, we both knew this was it. We talked about marriage pretty early on and moved in together after six months of dating (it was a first for both of us). We both agreed that we don’t want to wait too long to get married because we both want children fairly soon, considering our ages. I know that a lot of people are fine with having children later in life, but we’re not.

Fast forward a few years later, and I’m still waiting for a ring. He claims it’s his finances — he’s been “saving for the ring.” But every time he seems to get larger sums of money (i.e. bonuses, tax returns), he spends it in other ways. Generally it’s going toward paying off any debts, so it’s not a bad thing. But he hardly has any debts (no student loans, car is paid off), so I don’t understand why he feels the need to pay off his credit card in its entirety instead of continuing monthly payments.

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