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The Boston Globe


Love Letters

The etiquette of breakups

Q.There have been many discussions on this blog about breakups, but they seem to mostly be along the lines of whether a couple should break up and/or how to get over a breakup. My question is about breakup etiquette.

I have been both the breakup initiator and the one being broken up with, but for this discussion I am more interested in how to “properly” break up with someone. People say breakups should be done in person, but in some of my past breakups this almost seemed to cause more harm than good. What if it is a long-distance relationship? Do you have your significant other drive/fly X number of hours to you just to break up with them in person? Or spend X number of hours and dollars to travel to them (in one instance of mine, to another country on another continent) to break it off to then turn around and go home?

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