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The Boston Globe


Love Letters

Too many lies to commit

Q.I’m fighting a daily battle to stay with my fiance, whom I love with all of my heart. He makes me laugh, he’s compassionate and kind, and I really do love him for everything he is. The trouble is that I just found out that he has constructed a version of himself that he wants to be — not who he actually is. We’ve been together for almost two years now.

Quick back story: I met my ex-husband when I was 16. We married young, stayed together for 11 years, having two beautiful children that we now co-parent successfully. Our marriage didn’t work out because we matured and no longer functioned as a couple. I had a long-term relationship after him that was an utter nightmare full of lies and cheating that I only discovered after it had been going on for over a year. J, on the other hand, had multiple girlfriends over the years, but with no relationships lasting longer than a month or two. I didn’t pry too much when we first got together, as he seemed to really value keeping the past in the past.

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