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The Boston Globe

Lifestyle

Love Letters

He’s just out of a 10-year relationship

Q. I am dating a guy I met about a year ago. We started casually chatting and found we had much in common. Although he said he was single, I felt he was holding back from asking me out, and then I learned from him that he was in a long-term relationship and lived with his girlfriend of 10 years. He didn’t cross any lines with me, but I pulled back from flirting because I had no interest in getting involved with someone who was already in a relationship. He was upset that I shied away from him, told me he was very unhappy, that he and his partner were not well-suited and had a distant relationship and that he needed to make a change.

Shortly after that, he broke up with his girlfriend, and over a period of months they worked out the details of separating their commonly owned property and finally moved out. This was very stressful for him, but he said he didn’t regret his decision.

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