Have you read the New York Times review of Food Network host Guy Fieri’s Times Square restaurant yet? Of course you have. Critic Pete Wells’s takedown of Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar went viral in less time than it takes to say “Guy’s Pat LaFrieda custom blend, all-natural Creekstone Farm Black Angus beef patty, LTOP (lettuce, tomato, onion + pickle), SMC (super-melty-cheese) and a slathering of Donkey Sauce on garlic-buttered brioche.”

And if you have read it, your first thought was likely something like mine: “Hahaha, gasp, oh, hahahahaha.” Because the review is mercilessly funny — unless, of course, you are Guy Fieri, who dismissed Wells’s assessment as ridiculous and suggested he had “another agenda.”