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The Boston Globe


Love Letters

She wishes he were more social

Q.I am in a relationship with “Matt” that, admittedly, is my first serious relationship. We are both in our early 30s, and when we met a couple of years ago, our relationship moved very quickly and we moved in together within a couple of months. We love each other and we enjoy a lot of the same things, but there is one thing that is starting to wear on me a little. I am curious to know if this is normal and I need to just get over it, or if I should be upset enough to move on. Sometimes I feel that the thought of being the only single person left in a group of mostly coupled- off family and friends might be urging me to force this along. (I hope I didn’t just answer my own question.)

Anyway, to the issue, I am much more social than he is. I have a larger group of friends and family who are very close and try to see each other at least a couple of times a month. In the beginning of our relationship, Matt would fairly willingly tag along to my events, but after we moved in together, things seemed to change. He wouldn’t be so willing to accompany me to my friend- and/or family-oriented events. Now, it’s often me showing up alone and having to give excuses why he isn’t there. And when he is with me, I almost feel tense, like I need to make sure that he is having a good time. Usually we end up leaving early, which is not my style, and occasionally he heads out and I get a ride or take a cab home. It’s to the point that even though they are always polite, I know my friends are almost offended by him not coming.

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