It’s embarrassing to be part of the Kate Baby Bump watch. But what’s true is true. The other night, when one of my children tried to talk to me about his fantasy football team, I instead attempted to suck him into mom’s dream world. “Does this look Photoshopped to you?” I asked, directing a middle-schooler’s attention to a picture of an allegedly pregnant Kate Middleton on the cover of Star magazine.

Here’s what I want to know (besides whether the princess is indeed carrying twins, as Star asserts): Why do I care? It’s not as if I’m expecting an Evite to the baby shower, although it sure would be fun, Camilla and me, gushing over Kate’s new baby-wipes warmer, and that adorable set of 12 Disney princess board books ($9.02 on Amazon), as Pippa dutifully jotted down names for thank-you-note purposes.