It takes a brave man to stand up against a trend that threatens to invade summer like a swarm of Asian Long-Horned Beetles. So call me brave and please save your hate tweets because my resolve on this topic is strong. It’s my duty to point a finger at fashion blight when I see it. The trend I’m dreading? Women’s crop tops. The verdict? Your honor, I find this garment guilty of making some women feel bad about themselves and guilty of forcing me to experience PTSGD (that’s Post Traumatic Spice Girls Disorder).
First a little history. Back in my day — please don’t ask which day this was — these were called half shirts (or they were slapped with the less flattering moniker of belly shirt). Madonna loved a good belly shirt, or really any article of clothing that allowed her to receive attention and show some skin. These, along with Olivia Newton-John’s headbands and Jennifer Beals’s leg warmers, were part of the inescapable aftermath of the Jane Fonda Betamax invasion of 1982. Shedding pounds acquired during 1970s fondue parties, women, and Richard Simmons, were ready to show some skin. As a child, I was even drawn into this trend. I proudly wore a half shirt that read “Daytona Beach.” I consider myself lucky that no photographic evidence of the shirt exists.