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Getting comfortable with Plan B

After seeing yet another musty fixer-upper (that’s still out of your price range), it can be easy to blame yourself or your spouse for not making more, saving more, or having a wealthy and generous great aunt. Jessica Slavin Connelly, a Malden psychotherapist, offers advice.

 

1. Embrace your feelings: Situational depression, brought on by changes in circumstances, can be thought of as the death of a dream. Anger, frustration, and envy are all OK to feel, but then try to see the house-buying challenge as a small part of a much bigger picture.

2. Counter black-and-white thinking: In situations that are stressful, we can begin to communicate reactively and think that our decisions are etched in stone. Remember that every decision is “for the time being.”

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3. Take care of yourself: If you put your life on hold while waiting to find your dream house, you may miss out on years. Think about how you can move forward — and, yes, have a little fun — while on the journey.

Kara Baskin

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