> A friend just got engaged and asked me to be her bridesmaid. The fellow seems nice enough, but they have only dated five months. She has historically been sensitive about her lack of relationship experience and tends to low self-esteem. Should I do some gentle probing and give her space to express uncertainties if she has them?
J.Z. / Riverdale, Maryland
Comments
Yes, J.Z. Ask some questions. Show some genuine concern over what your friend is planning on doing. Asking her questions may prompt her to think more, and perhaps more critically, about what she is doing. Even if this does not help change anything in the short run, I think she'll remember your concern and interest later, and be thankful to you for it. That's what good friends are for, to see sometimes what one cannot yet see for oneself. To be concerned, interest, yet allowing space, freedom, and acceptance. To marry prematurely may not turn out well in the long run.