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The Boston Globe

Magazine

Miss Conduct

When family and money mix

Different budgets on a shared vacation, plus, when being a bridesmaid would break the bank.

My family is planning to visit my sister-in-law and her family in England. She is separated from her husband and lives on a tight budget. We want to do things together, but she doesn’t want to because it’s expensive and she doesn’t want us to pay for everyone — or even ourselves! How do we graciously tell her that we can, and want to, pay for her and the kids? Not extravagant stuff, just typical amusement park admissions and such. We only see her children once a year, and we’d like everyone to have as much fun as possible.

J.F. / Somerville

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