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The Boston Globe

Magazine

Miss Conduct

Making party guests pay

Can you ask invitees to chip in? Plus, honoring an unused gift and getting serious about elderly parents.

I am planning a surprise 30th birthday party for my fiancee and can’t decide whether to have it in the house or at a restaurant. With the number of expected guests, I am looking at upward of $800 in the restaurant, $200 if it’s at home. I would like to do it in the restaurant, but please confirm for me that asking people to pay (I would let them know ahead of time) would be not so cool.

M.J. / Boston

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