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The Boston Globe


Miss Conduct

The language of kink

A submissive man wants to be called “slave.” Is that OK?

I have a friend who has an arrangement with a submissive man who has a cleaning fetish. My friend only need give him a few stern orders when he arrives, look over his work, approve or disapprove, and thereby get her house and garage cleaned for free. The man wants to be referred to as a “slave,” which my friend finds objectionable, for obvious reasons. Should she put her own feelings aside? Or should she discuss the matter with the, shall we say, “servant,” and insist on different, less offensive terminology?

Anonymous / Boston

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