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The Boston Globe

Magazine

Miss Conduct

Taking a pre-wedding stand with a future mother-in-law

Plus, when one family throws off another’s schedule.

My sister is getting married soon and insists she does not want or need a bridal shower. As the maid of honor, I completely respect her wishes, and we’ve decided to plan a more intimate gathering. Unfortunately, the groom’s mother does not agree with our plans, although she and all her immediate family are included in the smaller gathering. This is causing a lot of additional stress for my sister, and she’s considering just having a shower to quiet the argument. Is she obligated to do this? How should we handle objections/disapproval?

T.C. / Waltham

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