Our new pup, Gumbo, is a black Lab mix from Forever Home Rescue in Medfield. He’s almost 5 years old and has been with us for about three months. He came from Tennessee; the South has an unbecoming habit of failing to adequately neuter and spay dogs, so lots of them end up abandoned, neglected, or euthanized. Despite what must have been a rocky past, Gumbo — Bo for short — is very sweet and sometimes well-behaved. He’s been going to Happy Dog obedience and agility classes in Hingham, taught by Lisa Aprea. There are about a dozen dogs from all over the South Shore in the class. Last week, I overheard Gumbo and his classmate Seamus, an Irish Wolfhound from Quincy, talking.

Gumbo: “My friend took this class and she gave me the lowdown. Don’t do anything until you see the treats.”

Seamus: “Yeah, if you go along with it, you get tons of treats. But once you get home, you don’t have to do any of this (bleep).”

Gumbo: “Tell that to my dad. He gets out the choke collar and has me heeling all over the place. What a drag. Just cuz he’s old doesn’t mean I have to drag my young arse behind his. I feel like saying, ‘Heel THIS!’ ”

Seamus: “My mom’s a pushover. All I have to do is look her in the eyes and she melts.”

Gumbo: “Ditto. Mine calls me her teenager. Says I’m frisky and funny.”

Seamus: “Funny-looking, is what she means.”

Gumbo: “Dude, just because you’re bigger than me doesn’t mean you can dis me. How much you weigh, anyways?”

Seamus: “130 pounds, and I’m 6-foot tall on my hind legs.”

Gumbo: “Man, you are the Shaquille O’Neal of this here class. Where on earth do you sleep? You got your own bedroom, or what?”

Seamus: “Yep. And I got my own mattress, none of this dog bed stuff, and I eat off my own table cuz Mom says I’m too big to eat from bowls on the floor.”

Gumbo: “Uh-oh. We’re getting ready to do ‘Come!’ Let’s just do it the first couple of times for the treats.”

Seamus: “OK, but when they walk 20 yards away, expecting me to wait, I’m outta here.”

(During Sit! Stay! Come! Seamus “escapes,” galloping around the gym while the other dogs cheer.)

Later, at hurdle training:

Gumbo: “I don’t do hurdles. I got a bad leg. Some redneck shot me with a BB gun and the pellet is still in there.”

Seamus: “Man up! These hurdles are like 6 inches off the ground. They come up to my ankles. What a joke. And if I have to step through that stupid hoop one more time . . . ”

Gumbo: “Yeah, but look at Freya over there, the Yorkie mix from Hingham. She weighs only 9 pounds and she’s game.”

Seamus: “She’s hot.”

Gumbo: “Grow up, dude. You could eat her up for a snack. Oh, shoot. Here comes The Warden. She’s the only one here who knows what she’s doing.”

Seamus: “Yep, you better do what Lisa says or she’ll have you pinned to the ground in a New York second.”

Lisa: “OK, everybody, a five-minute water break.”

Gumbo: “I’m not drinking out of those bowls after everyone else. My mom says I’ll get meningitis.”

Seamus: “Stupid. Dogs can’t get meningitis. She must have been talking to your human siblings. I got a great sister. Her name’s Jennifer.”

Gumbo: “I love my sister, too. Megan is the one who picked me out of all those dogs at the rescue. She obviously has good taste.”

Seamus: “Did she give you that dumb name, too? No offense.”

Gumbo: “She did. The rednecks down South named me Gunner. Mom said absolutely no to that. So they came up with Gumbo. Mom calls me Bo, which happens to be the First Dog’s name, too.”

Seamus: “Bozo is more like it.”

Gumbo: “She calls me that, too. She was reading this book called, ‘Do Dogs Dream?’ Duh! I had a terrible nightmare about someone digging up that bone I buried in the backyard. Anyways, that book says that humans are the smartest, followed by apes, porpoises, and elephants, then dogs. Find me an elephant who can do a high-five! I can, but only for treats.”

Seamus: “That author says we’re smarter than cats. Like, who didn’t know that?”

Gumbo: “Uh-oh, it’s ‘Down!’ time. Down your own self, Dad!”

Seamus: “I hear that. Thank God class is almost over. So what are you doing this weekend, dude?”

Gumbo: “Going to the beach. There’s all kind of good stuff there. I love rolling around in the seaweed and rotting crabs. It’s awesome.”

Seamus: “Well, since you’re in Milton, and I’m in Quincy, we should get together sometime. We could go knock over some trash cans or something.”

Gumbo: “Cool. Count me in.”