I AM PLEASED to announce that I have been named Deputy Assistant Undersecretary of the Eventual Mission to Mars. This is, as you know, a high-powered job, commensurate with my deep and deserved career accomplishments. It is the sort of job I was destined to hold. And I don’t want to waste a minute of my precious and valuable time worrying about my family’s welfare when I’m out of the house.
In other words, I am out to achieve the elusive work-life balance at the very highest levels of the workforce.