Just last month, Patriarch Amfilohije of Montenegro and Patriarch Irinej, leader of the Eastern Orthodox Serbs, declared the Balkan floods – the worst in human memory – a divine punishment for the apparition of Conchita Wurst, the 25-year-old Austrian “bearded lady” who won the Eurovision Song Contest for her native country. This has been in line with earlier claims by the spokesperson for the Russian Orthodox Church pronouncing her an abomination.
We have no reason to believe that the venerable churchmen would joke about a disaster that claimed dozens of lives. Also, God has demonstrated, at least on one occasion according to the Bible, that he can and will flood the planet when all reasonable forms of persuasion fail — about which Hollywood made a blockbuster starring Russell Crowe. So it must be true.
If The Almighty cared about Eurovision and pop music in general, which is clearly what the patriarchs are suggesting, then why not presume that it was also the Good Lord who let Tom Neuwirth win as Conchita Wurst. After all, He moves in mysterious ways.
I’d say it could’ve been easier to influence the outcome through the jury of Eurovision rather than flooding the Balkans and sparing neighboring Austria. Maybe it would have been enough just to confuse their language – like He did at the Tower of Babel – to avoid Conchita’s victory without loss of human lives. Perhaps God could’ve simply stricken down the bearded lady mid-phoenix-rising instead of opening the gates of Heaven and forcing 150,000 people out of their homes.
We are only human — we tend to overreact occasionally. We often fail to see the bigger picture so it could well be we may never know what made so many good folks freak out from a televised music show, though it seems like history today. After all, Freddie Mercury has already sung “God knows I want to break free” in the ’80s causing no major floods nor children to stop growing. And there was no golden fishtail either — he was wearing a skimpy mini under his moustache.
You have reached the limit of 5 free articles in a month
Stay informed with unlimited access to Boston’s trusted news source.
- High-quality journalism from the region’s largest newsroom
- Convenient access across all of your devices
- Today’s Headlines daily newsletter
- Subscriber-only access to exclusive offers, events, contests, eBooks, and more
- Less than 25¢ a week