At this time of year, the story sounds less like a serious news report and more like a tale of Thanksgiving-dinner revenge: In Brookline, a roving band of wild turkeys is terrorizing residents, stalking some as they walk down the street and ambushing others as they try to exit their cars. They’re pecking backsides, scratching necks, and flapping powerful wings in the faces of passersby.
For those whose primary experience with the grand bird is when it’s sliced up on a plate, the problem may sound funny. And to those living in rural areas who have found ways to peacefully coexist with wild turkeys for years, the problem may sound overblown. But to residents of Brookline, where the presence of roughly two dozen 3- to 4-foot-tall birds is a relatively new phenomenon, the menace is anything but humorous or normal. Over the past few months, the number of encounters with the increasingly brazen birds — not to mention calls to public safety officials — has risen.
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So, let me get this straight. Children should be sent to school and out to play with a broom to ward off aggressive turkeys.
How about harvesting them and making a turkey dinner for needy families in the area? Open hunting in a densely populated town is a bad idea, but the birds are nuisance and using them for the benefit of society makes a lot of sense. Not PC? Remember what you had for dinner last Thursday evening. And remember that turkeys are only rampant in New England because humans have released them in the past few years for hunting purposes.
Shoot the buggers. They shouldn't be living in the city.
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A police officer with a 22 rifle is very accurate: The wild turkeys in Brookline are not a laughing matter.