Some tweets that come to mind while watching endless hours of PGA programming this weekend from sunny Pebble Beach. What a cruel joke for those of us digging out of driveways, not fairways.
■ For a guy in need of a few bucks, Curt Schilling should have saved his PED revelation for his book. See Terry Francona for pricing secrets.
■ Stan Musial and Earl Weaver arrive within hours of each other at heaven’s gate. Which one rang doorbell, then bolted?
■ Brent Musburger. Who knew that 73 is the new 13?
■ NFL’s ambitious “Play 60’’ initiative reminds kids to stay active, fit, trim. Now how do we get about 150 current NFL linemen to join program?
■ If six wins in a row with Rajon Rondo hors de combat doesn’t tell Danny Ainge something, then maybe the battle’s lost.
■ I’m guessing Gloria Steinem is way overbooked and won’t be able to keynote the Tufts men’s lacrosse awards banquet.
■ Sign upon entering Bass Pro Shops in Foxborough: “Check Guns and Bows With Greeter.’’ Bullets, arrows, knives, dead black bear optional.
■ Lindsey Vonn rumored to be dating Tiger Woods. Vonn crashes in heap, rips up knee, fractures shin. Vonn considers options.
■ If the Jamaican bobsled team arrives in Sochi with German accents, then mahn, Volkswagen’s got itself a winner.
■ Agreed, the Krafts deserve tons of credit for making pigskin paramount in our town. But it was way more fun and unscripted with the Sullivans.
■ God made a farmer, and also made Walter the pink-cheeked geeky tech kid in GoDaddy Super Bowl commercial. God needs help in HR dept.
■ John Lackey looks better, sounds focused, sincere. Well-liked in clubhouse. Just don’t see him as the glue to the Sox rotation.
■ February 2014 daily updates from Sochi Olympics. Live from edge of Black Sea. Sort of Lillehammer minus the everything.
■ R.I.P., snowmobiler Caleb Moore, first fatality in X Games history. We too easily forget the X’s inherent dangers.
■ Forty years ago Feb. 28, my first night as Globe copy boy. Boss’s handwritten note to copy editors introduced me as a “last resort.’’
■ An ebullient LeBron James during Heat’s White House visit: “Mom, I made it!’’ The big guy gets easier to like.
■ I’ll match your two Harbaughs and raise you four Sutters. Now, fold cards, walk away before there’s trouble in the barn, son.
■ OK, the Glenn Ordway-Janet Prensky duo lacked a certain something. But still no regular female cohost on Boston sports talk?
■ If steady doses of deer antler velvet aerosol add muscle mass, imagine how an extra-strength elk or moose spray would fill out your shirt.
■ Robert Parish wants a job, not a handout, something above that piddling $80,000 Celts PR job. Somewhere, cigar smoke streams from Red’s ears.
■ Adam Oates may make it one day as an NHL bench boss. Question now is whether he’ll make it beyond this weekend as Caps coach.
■ People talk for weeks around here leading up to the departure of Red Sox equipment truck. And we laugh at NASCAR fans?
■ Kevin Garnett now with 25,000 points and counting. But does he make your Celtics all-time starting five? Didn’t think so.
■ Wish a rich American NHLer would buy Mike Eruzione’s USA ’80 sweater, then donate it to Hockey Hall of Fame. Miracle. Saved.
■ Uh, Gronk, two roads diverged in a yellow wood. This would be a good time to pick one. It’s a long walk. Maybe bring a shirt.
■ Ray Allen, that guy in the office everyone likes, admires. Gets taken for granted because he’s busier being a pro than a show.
■ Dave Goucher doesn’t make me forget Bob Wilson’s radio call of Bruins games, but his pipes and pace are exquisite. Both master craftsmen.
■ Super Bowl ’14 is in East Rutherford, N.J. If lights go out for half-hour, Governor Chris Christie claims nacho stand by eminent domain.
■ Time for BBWAA writers to bow out of Baseball Hall of Fame voting while they’re among the few in game with dignity intact.
■ Beyonce? Bump, grind, pander. Jennifer Hudson and the Sandy Hook kids singing “America the Beautiful’’? Owned the stage.
■ Junior Seau, tragedy. Greater tragedy, parents denying mounting evidence, exposing kids to potential brain damage on football field.