Metro

Text messages show UMass student’s struggle with drugs

In the months before his death from a heroin overdose, Logan, a student at UMass Amherst, struggled both with his substance abuse and his decision to become a police informant after he was caught selling drugs in his dorm room.

Text messages to friends and acquaintances, obtained by the Boston Globe, reveal some of his thoughts as he fought to get clean and to maintain his relationships with friends, some of them angry that he led police to another classmate who was selling drugs.

Logan’s parents did not know that he was using heroin until the day he overdosed.

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Explicit language has been removed from some of these entries, as have the names of Logan’s contacts. To protect his family’s privacy, the Globe is only using his middle name.

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By late 2012, Logan had built a reputation in some quarters as a person with access to potent drugs. In the exchange below, he traded messages with a person he had met a week earlier, and who was looking for some of the same drugs she had gotten from him before.

Acquaintance at 2:14 P.M. on 11/1/12

that was some good [expletive], lots of requests for more...when will that be?

Logan

Prob in a week or 2 it's getting shipped from Amsterdam so it takes a while ya know

Acquaintance

o nice, got anyhting else interesting?

Logan

Shrooms, weed, and I can get normal molly but its obv not as good

Around the same time, Logan was struggling with addiction. He asked a friend — with whom he would regularly discuss his addiction — to help him find more heroin.

Logan at 1:41 P.M. on 12/1/12

Yo I'm withdrawing could u hit up that kid please? Thanks [expletive]

Friend

Yeah just come to puffton later

Logan at 2:34 P.M. on 12/1/12

When is later?

Friend

Idk

Logan

[Expletive] dude tell him ill give him extra if its soon I've been in w/d

Logan would soon be busted selling Molly, a club drug, and LSD. He would ultimately lead police to a friend who also sold drugs. While that friend was arrested and suspended from school, Logan remained at UMass.

In messages exchanged with another friend, Logan defended his decision become a confidential informant.

Logan at 7:17 P.M. on 12/8/12

Anyone with anything going for them would do the same..and for te record all [person] had was a couple strips on him.

Friend 2 at 7:31 P.M. on 12/8/12

[Expletive] man, I can't say I fully agree but I'm glad you told me the truth. So does that mean you're not in trouble at all? No fines, suspension from school, or anything like that

Logan

Nah dude nothing. Which is the only reason I did it., I have to live with this [expletive] which really really sucks but it is what it is. Iit was either give my friend up who was already under heavy investigation or go to jail for 5 years and be done for life..such a [expletive] up lose lose situation that ill never be able to forget ya know

Friend 2

Yeah that's true. I take it you're done selling anything

Logan at 7:46 P.M. on 12/8/12

I'm def takin a break and if I do start again ill be super careful and def not be as big as I was. Burner phone and [expletive] haha

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In January, Logan happily announced, in a text to the friend he previously had asked for a connection, that police had returned his money.

Logan at 3:54 P.M. on 1/23/13

Cops r giving me my [expletive] money back!!!

D

Friend

Sweeeeeeeeeeet

Logan

And we're in business

Logan continued to struggle with drugs, writing to the same friend about his fear that he had injured himself with an injection.

Logan at 11:24 P.M. on 1/24/12

If the spot I shot is black and blue and a big lump does that mean I busted a vein

Friend

I don't think so. You may j e just stabbed through it

He and the friend continued to discuss his misgivings about drug use as the days went on. Logan considered leaving school and entering rehab.

His friend, however, sought to dissuade him.

Friend

Ill hel you through withdrawals. You can live at my place for a week during the semester and il help man. I don't wanna lose more friends to rehab. Would your parents let you come back after that?

Friend at 12:02 A.M. on 2/19/13

You gotta at least try first man

Logan

I appreciate it but I need to be functional when I'm at school. And they'd be happy I was getting help and also pissed

Logan continued to worry about how his parents would react if they found out about his habit.

Logan at 6:20 P.M. on 3/4/13

Yeah the only [expletive] part is I'm gonna have to tell my parents really soon I'm a heroin addict and that's why I can't come back here...and presumably go to rehab

Friend

:(

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Amid his battle with addiction, Logan also found himself facing hostility from others who believed he should not have become a confidential informant to get himself out of trouble.

Logan at 5:39 P.M. on 5/10/13

Just stop. I'm not a cop I've never been a cop and I hate cops. You would of done the same [expletive] and to tell me anything otherwise would leave me unable to take you seriously. Don't hate me hate the system for making me an offer I couldn't refuse. Have a good one

Friend 3 at 6:19 P.M. on 5/10/13

I would have kept my mouth shut and called a lawyer like anyone with half a brain would do

Logan

I don't think u get the concept of 5 years in jail minimum

Or the concept of the 40,000$ in scholarship money I'd have to pay back out of my pocket

Friend 3

So [person] deserved it instead of you? You're just a really really selfish [expletive]. Jail is a risk you have to be comfortable with when you're in the business dude.

Texting with a friend, Logan described the difficulties he had encountered trying to wean himself off of heroin. Some of his texts suggest that he had obtained a supply of the treatment drug suboxone.

Logan at 11:31 P.M. on 6/5/13

Every time I try to taper I withdraw so instead of dragging it out I just wanted off

Friend 4

that's stupid you have to taper off like very very slow and it won't be that bad

On the day that he died, Logan texted the person believed to be his dealer, looking to quickly pick up some drugs.

Logan at 10:57 P.M. on 10/3/13

[Expletive] my veins are crying...is the traffic gonna be bad?

Suspected dealer

Now 13mph. U hurting??

Referring to the drug as “tropicana,” Logan’s suspected dealer checked in after he made the delivery. Logan would never respond, though his mother would write in weeks later to express her disdain for the person she blamed for her son’s death.

Suspected dealer at 12:18 A.M. on 10/4/13

Ehh??? ;)

How much tropicana did u drink

Logan at 4:01 A.M. on 10/27/13

You killed my son you [expletive] bastard. I hope you live a life of [expletive] hell and are as haunted as you've made me for the rest of your miserable [expletive] life [name]. You will rot in hell!