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Loathe Valentine’s Day? The heartless (but hilarious) phrases on these cookies will make that clear

Crust Artistan Bakery in Worcester serves up anti-Valentine's Day cookies with messages that aren't exactly heartwarming.
Crust Artistan Bakery in Worcester serves up anti-Valentine's Day cookies with messages that aren't exactly heartwarming.Courtesy Alexis Kelleher

Chocolates are the expected — and admittedly clichéd — Valentine’s Day sweets, but savvy local bakers have gotten into the act in recent years, serving up heart-shaped cookies inscribed with romantic messages for ravenous lovers.

Most famously, Flour’s Joanne Chang bakes up frosted cookies, some with sentiments so raunchy they can only be viewed upon request. These XXX-rated tidbits go way beyond “Netflix and Chill,” “Bae,” and “Love of my life," veering into territory usually reserved for sweaty denizens of Pornhub.

Crust Artisan Bakeshop in Worcester takes another amusing approach: Anti-Valentine’s Day cookies with messages that are deliciously, almost painfully, bleak.

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The Main Street bakery sells heartbreaking (but delectable) cookies that cut to the quick. There’s “You’re the reason I cry,” “Not drunk enough,” and “You make me sick.” (What could be more perfect for that upcoming meeting with your ex and the divorce lawyers!)

Some unexpected Valentine's Day sentiments on cookies from Crust Artisan Bakery in Worcester.
Some unexpected Valentine's Day sentiments on cookies from Crust Artisan Bakery in Worcester.Courtesy Alexis Kelleher

For lonely feline lovers, there’s “At least my cat loves me.” “Swipe Left” is popular, as is “It’s not your baby" and “I’m leaving you.”

Crust owner Alexis Kelleher, 30, says the anti-Valentine’s Day messages have evolved over time, and these days everyone at the bakery pitches ideas.

“Now it’s to the point that we have customers writing in,” Kelleher said by phone on Friday. “People had different angsty things they wanted to say. Valentine’s Day means different things to different people.”

Crust Artisan Bakeshop, which is located at 118 Main St., will continue to sell the cookies through the weekend, so that those who had a less-than-stellar Valentine’s Day can partake.

“There are so many good ones,” Kelleher said.

So which are the most popular with customers? “The ones that are lighthearted but negative,” she said. “The ones that make them laugh.”

Anti-Valentine's Day cookies from Crust bakery. (Courtesy Alexis Kelleher)
Anti-Valentine's Day cookies from Crust bakery. (Courtesy Alexis Kelleher)Courtesy Alexis Kelleher

Hayley Kaufman can be reached at hayley.kaufman@globe.com.