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I want to see my quarantined boyfriend

Love Letters

Q. My boyfriend has been visiting family for several weeks in a Level 2 country (midlevel risk, according to the CDC). His company is asking him to quarantine when he returns, and my company is asking everyone to work from home. I want to see him very badly after his travels and I would possibly be willing to risk it (versus waiting another two weeks to see him), as I can quarantine myself too, since I have to work from home.

However, I have roommates and don't want to put them at risk. I don't even know if I should put myself at risk, but I miss the physical aspect of our relationship and the coronavirus is spreading in Boston anyways. Is it stupid to see him before the two-week period is up?



A. Let’s start with a reminder: I’m not a doctor. I can’t offer any medical advice.

But I have some opinions. You're not going to like them.

I know you miss your boyfriend, but you can wait another few weeks to see him. Yes, you could make the choice to join him in seclusion (you wouldn’t want to return to your roommates and put them at risk), but that would pose new challenges. You want to keep yourself — and others — healthy in every way you can right now.

My advice is to stay put and get creative. Send your boyfriend messages about the grilled cheese you’ll make after you’ve finished a few weeks of isolation. (For those who don’t know, “grilled cheese” is a very old Love Letters euphemism.) This is the time to get romantic — to send notes about how and why you want him. Also, a lot can be accomplished during late-night phone calls. Enjoy.


You say this illness “is spreading in Boston anyways,” but that’s the point. Everybody has to do their part to flatten the curve. You don’t want your time together to be tainted by guilt and a nagging feeling that you should be home.

You can wait. If you do, you'll have a better time enjoying the rewards.



I don’t think you comprehend what the word “quarantine” means. It is pretty much exactly the OPPOSITE of running back and forth between multiple people’s residences. JIM-IN-LITTLETON

Look, this is tough on all of us, and it’s going to be far, far worse for some than others. You can manage not seeing your BF for a couple weeks. TWO-SHEDS

If you visit your boyfriend, you will be quarantined with him. After two weeks of forced, unplanned living together, you might not have a boyfriend. Especially if he has a small place and you’re trying to work and make calls while he’s trying to watch TV and not go stir crazy. MYSTERYWOMAN

Be a grown-up. Wait. SEENITTOO

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