Advice for planning that family reunion you just can’t wait to have

We asked a handful of industry leaders — veterans in planning small and large gatherings — for tips.

Here are tips for planning the family reunion you're craving.Guilherme Yukio - stock.adobe.com

If interest in family reunion travel was growing steadily before the pandemic, it’s exploding now. As we see the light at the end of the tunnel, we’re ready to make up for our lost time together.

“If 2020 was the year that held people apart, there is strong optimism that 2021 will be the year to bring them back together,” says Misty Belles, managing director of global PR at Virtuoso, a worldwide network of more than 20,000 luxury travel advisers. “After being separated for so long — in some cases over a year — families are looking to reunite, to enjoy shared experiences and make new memories.”

But getting the gang together requires a fair amount of work and planning. We asked a handful of industry leaders — veterans in planning small and large gatherings — for tips. Here’s their advice.

Elect a leader

Who’s the ultra-organized, list maker, task doer in your family? Who knows their way around a spreadsheet? That’s the person to appoint as ringleader to help streamline the process.

“There needs to be a designated planner,” says Aoife Owens, director of sales and marketing for White Elephant Resorts, a collection of resorts in Nantucket and Palm Beach, popular for family gatherings. “But the planner can — and should — enlist other members to help. For example, one person plans dinner one night, another person plans activities, and so on.”

Your family reunion leader can also work closely with the staff at your chosen destination. “I always suggest one point person to coordinate everything with the hotel and then report back to the group via e-mail,” says Jeff Romeo, sales and marketing manager for Island Outpost, a collection of luxury hotels and villas in Jamaica, well-liked for family get-togethers. “Sharing spreadsheets always seems to be the smoothest way to do this, including dietary restrictions, room preferences, activities, suggested itineraries, flight details, spa appointments, and other details.”

Pick the right location

Something for everyone is the mantra when deciding on the location for your reunion. You’ll want to select a destination that has a wide array of activities and choices to appeal to all ages and interests.

“We suggest different options for family reunions,” says Iracema Keseberg, family reunion specialist for UXUA Casa Hotel & Spa in Trancoso, Brazil, known for its intimate group gatherings. “We offer a lot of outdoor and eco-sport activities for the youth, and some more spa-related, restorative options for adults. And we encourage cultural and sightseeing day trips for the entire group to enjoy together.”

Also, if you can’t buy out the entire property, does it provide a good amount of space between you and other guests? “Privacy and seclusion are key deciding factors for many of our guests,” says Verna Rogers, events manager for Belmond Cap Juluca in Anguilla.

Romeo agrees, “Look for properties that still feel like you have the whole place to yourself, even at high capacity.”

Plan ahead, but not too much

Some family members prefer a detailed itinerary while others want to relax and take things day by day. Most planners suggest doing something in between. To avoid disappointment, schedule in advance those activities that might fill up, like scuba diving lessons, fishing, sailing, and spa treatments. And include a few scheduled activities for the entire group.

“It’s always nice on the first night to have a welcome gathering, whether it’s a formal cocktail party or a casual welcome drink,” says Owens. “We also recommend planning dinners and evenings together with optional group activities for the day, and fun suggestions for free time.”

Mealtimes can be tricky; most planners suggest knowing in advance when and where everyone will be eating, especially if it’s a larger group that wants to sit together. And if dining en masse, don’t forget to make reservations well in advance.

“In general, I believe every great experience is a perfect balance between a stand-out activity each day and a lot of free time for spontaneity,” says Romeo. “Quite often guests try to plan too much.”

Consider disparities and budgets

It’s likely that not everyone in your family has equal disposable income, or similar thoughts on what they want to spend on a family reunion vacation. Be sensitive to this, and open to compromise.

Begin with a general idea of what people want to spend. Are you thinking a potluck gathering in a state park with camping and cabins? Or a more lavish getaway to an island resort? Everyone needs to be upfront and realistic about their expectations and budgets.

Next, designate a few family members to research possible locations, gather information on costs, and begin to develop a budget. Consider locations that offer a variety of accommodations and meal options at varying price points so that family members have choices.

Once you’ve decided on a location, create a more detailed budget, taking into account all expenses, including lodging, meals, activities, gratuities, transportation, and any other costs. Planners suggest adding an additional 10-15 percent to the budget for contingencies. (No one wants to be surprised with an additional bill at the end of their vacation!) Be sure to share cost information and options early in the process and along the way, so all family members can weigh in on the decision making.

Decide if expenses will be charged per family unit, per person, or based on age and family size. Apps like Venmo and Splitwise can be useful in keeping track of and paying shared expenses.

“We’ve hosted loads of family reunions over the past 10 years, and I would say there is no clear pattern on the economics,” says Keseberg. “We’ve seen a wealthy patriarch or matriarch of a family cover all costs. A French media mogul once flew his family from all over the world to stay two weeks on his 70th birthday.”

Wouldn’t that be nice! But more commonly, costs are divided among the family.

Make it personal

Special touches can add to the family event. Consider a welcome kit, with maps, an itinerary or outline for the gathering, suggested activities with links to companies and suppliers, and local treats. Other keepsakes from the trip might include family T-shirts, cookbooks, or a framed group photograph. Some families ask one member to be the “official” photographer and to share the photos at the end of the trip.

But remember the most important part is being together and enjoying each other’s company. And after the COVID-19 pandemic, we won’t take that — or travel — for granted again.