Patrick Clancy, the Duxbury father whose three children were allegedly killed by his wife at their home, on Saturday wrote about his achingly painful loss and the deep love and forgiveness he feels for his wife, Lindsay.
“A lot of people have said they can’t imagine and they’re right, there’s absolutely nothing that can prepare you,” Clancy said in his first public remarks, which were posted on a GoFundMe fund-raising page set up for his family. “The shock and pain is excruciating and relentless. I’m constantly reminded of them and with the little sleep I get, I dream about them on repeat.”
The Clancy children, Cora, 5, Dawson, 3, and Callan, 8 months, were allegedly strangled by their mother on Tuesday night at their home. Patrick Clancy called 911 after arriving home shortly after 6 p.m., when he found his children unconscious and that his wife had attempted suicide.
Lindsay Clancy, 32, is in a Boston hospital and is facing murder and assault charges.
Patrick Clancy wrote with loving compassion for Lindsay, and says he forgives her, and asked for others to do the same.
“I want to ask all of you that you find it deep within yourselves to forgive Lindsay, as I have. The real Lindsay was generously loving and caring towards everyone — me, our kids, family, friends, and her patients. The very fibers of her soul are loving. All I wish for her now is that she can somehow find peace,” he wrote.
A labor and delivery nurse at Massachusetts General Hospital, Lindsay Clancy had written of her long struggle with postpartum depression on her Facebook page over the summer, just six weeks after the birth of Callan.
“Our marriage was wonderful and diametrically grew stronger as her condition rapidly worsened,” Patrick Clancy wrote. “I took as much pride in being her husband as I did in being a father and felt persistently lucky to have her in my life.
“I still remember the very moment I first laid eyes on her and can recall how overcome I was with the kind of love at first sight you only see in movies. It really didn’t take long before I was certain I wanted to marry her.”
The couple married in 2016 in Southington, Conn., according to an engagement announcement published in the Scituate Mariner newspaper.
Patrick Clancy described Cora, the couple’s first-born, as a caring older sister to Dawson and Callan.
“She used to say she wanted to be a doctor and a mama when she grew up and she would practice by giving Callan check ups,” Clancy wrote.
He said Cora loved her baby dolls and would practice wrapping them in swaddles.
“We would tell her she’s such a ‘good little mama,’” he wrote. “She loved all babies, both real and pretend.”
Clancy said his oldest son, Dawson, was “naturally humorous and generous beyond the norm of a typical toddler, always willing to share his toys with others.”
“His best quality was his pure kindness,” he wrote.
“He would hug me tighter than most adults and every night he told me in consistent words at bedtime, without fail, ‘goodnight dada, I love you.’ ... He was my buddy, my first boy, and truly a gift.”
Callan was born on May 26, 2022, and his death Friday at Boston Children’s Hospital came one day after he turned 8 months old, according to a spokeswoman for the Plymouth district attorney’s office.
Clancy wrote that Callan was “our easy going child,” always smiling. His parents called him “Happy Callan.”
“If I was ever having a bad day, Callan always knew how to heal me,” he wrote. “Perhaps that’s why he held on a little longer — to spare me whatever pain he could. As excruciating as it was, I was fortunate and grateful to feel his warmth until his very last moment. Faith is my only hope of believing he felt mine.”
He also thanked the Duxbury community, police, firefighters, clergy, and others who have supported his family during an impossibly difficult time. Hundreds attended a candlelight vigil for the family Thursday evening at Holy Family Catholic Church.
“I promise I’ll put all my energy into healing and rediscovering my purpose. I owe that to all of you, Duxbury fire and police, our compassionate health care workers, our local faith leaders, the Microsoft community” — an apparent reference to his work — “and especially Cora, Dawson, and Callan. I don’t know how or when I’ll be able to do it, but your love and generosity will help me get started. I know that love always wins,” Clancy wrote.
Kathy McCabe can be reached at Katherine.McCabe@globe.com. Follow her on Twitter @GlobeKMcCabe. Nick Stoico can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org. Follow him on Twitter @NickStoico.