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Should I text again?

Maybe we’re lost in translation

Love Letters

Love Letters

I’m seeking letters about conflicts in long-term relationships, how money affects marriages … and, of course, all of the problems about dating and breakups. Have an experience or question to share? Submit an anonymous letter here or email loveletters@globe.com. - Meredith

Q. Met a lovely, young, attractive Dominican woman in a public social setting where we chatted at length primarily in Spanish, although English is my first language. I stumbled at times with proper translations and interpretations. We both had a good laugh at some of my mispronunciations, and she seemed slightly entertained with my errors.

At the end of our soirée, we exchanged telephone numbers, hugged, and agreed to talk again later.


Fast forward to this morning. I checked my cellphone and found there was a missed telephone call from her. I went online and used an English-to-Spanish translator application and sent her, what I thought, was a grammatically correct text-message written in Spanish.

She never replied.

Should I send her another text or perhaps call her using only English?

Should I reach out to her in Spanish even if my verbiage is incorrect?

Or should I abandon this pursuit?


A. Did your text say you’d like to take her out on a date? If not, send another, asking her out for coffee. Tell her it was lovely to meet her and that you’d like to see her again, if she’s interested.

If she speaks English, you can try this in your native language so you don’t mess it up. You can also do this with an actual phone call! Use whatever path of communication feels most natural to you. For the record, she probably butt-dialed you, but that’s OK.

Maybe you did extend an invitation with that first text, but based on what you’ve told us, I fear you said something cute and left it at that. You seem a little passive about this entire experience. You exchanged numbers, but it took the missed call for you to reach out. (Maybe the call came the very next day, but … I’m not sure.)


Just make sure you’ve said what you want before you let this go. Clarity is good.



Call her. I think a phone call should be returned with a phone call, not a text. If you get her voice-mail and she doesn’t respond, drop it completely.


She called you. … You already talked to her extensively, prior. I don’t understand the last two generations ... avoidance of the spoken word. She likely gauged your text as minimal interest.


A guy I gave my phone number to at a dance asked me the next time at the dance why I didn’t respond to his text message. I said because my phone number was from a landline, which doesn’t get texts. True story. Even if her number is from a mobile phone, not everyone texts or looks at their incoming texts.


Sending a translated text may have been a bit weird and off-putting for her. [Translation apps] tend to do a very mediocre job, at best.


If she’s interested, she’ll eventually reply. If she does, you can ask her if she’d prefer English or Spanish. If she doesn’t respond, then you had a nice time with a new face and you can move on.



Call her and have a few suggestions for dates (day/time/activity). So many things to do this time of year — good luck.


As a Dominican woman myself, I tell you to let this one go. When a Dominican woman is interested, she makes it known. Next time, just return a call with a call. Good luck.


Send your own relationship and dating questions to loveletters@globe.com or fill out this form. Catch new episodes of Meredith Goldstein’s “Love Letters” podcast at loveletters.show or wherever you listen to podcasts. Column and comments are edited and reprinted from boston.com/loveletters.