thing tank

From OkCupid manipulation to ‘Sharknado 2’

If it’s a trend, a clip, a comment, a moment, a meme, a tag, or a topic, it’s a thing. Thing Tank is a review of the week in things, and rates them either up or down.


OkCupid users experienced scattered chuckles and deep, deep betrayal upon reading a very jaunty little blog post from the dating site informing them of the scads of data the site has harvested through various acts of profile-jacking tomfoolery. This is exactly why we broke up with Jennifer, dude.



Sarah Palin launches the online Sarah Palin Channel (or, as I prefer to call it, Spa-Cha), which will give users access to her cultural and political musings (as well as a word of the day from her mom) for just $99.95/year. I guess you can just read that again for punch line purposes.


British rock singer Morrissey, the former front man of the alternative rock group The Smiths, sings during his concert in Manila, Philippines on Sunday May 13, 2012. Morrissey recently sent a letter on behalf of Manila-based People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) Asia to Philippine President Benigno Aquino III urging him to send Vishwamali ("Mali" for short), a lone Asian elephant at the Manila Zoo, to a sanctuary. (AP Photo/Aaron Favila) -- -- 03thingtank
Aaron Favila/Associated Press

Morrissey bodyguard Bradley Steyn (which is the most Morrissey bodyguard name ever) sues the singer for allegedly asking him to rough up webmaster/Moz-irritant David Tseng, and then firing him when he “rejected the overture.” The Morrissey bodyguard “rejected” an “overture.” Add a frisky guitar solo to this and boom: Smiths song.



Internet looky-loos lined the streets to watch as the #womaninblack (who can also be called Elizabeth Poles if human names are your thing) continued her 1,000-mile-plus walk from Alabama to Virginia, shrouded in black — and mystery! Consensus is she’s inspirational. Truth is we are creepy.


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In the realm of cute animal videos that brought our country together, a dog fainted with excitement to see his owner, a 5-year-old wept at the prospect of her baby brother growing up, and some girl took a worst-fear-confirming digger from a high-dive platform. OK, I guess only two of those qualify as cute animal videos.


Tara Reid stock momentarily went up as she and Ian Ziering led the overturned-Hollywood-junk-drawer cast of the Syfy phenomenon “Sharknado 2: The Second One.” There were flying sharks and sewer gators and some other sea creature billed only as “Mark McGrath.” Spoiler: Everything turns out OK at the end. Mainly because it ends.


At Matter, Kyle Chayka offers an enlightening history of the semiological makeover and meme-ification of the aspiration/affirmation-packed pronoun: This. (a.k.a: This^ and #this.) Why? Because language.

Michael Andor Brodeur can be reached at Follow him on Twitter @MBrodeur.