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A few memorable lines from Stephen Colbert:

Oct. 17, 2005, premiere of “The Colbert Report’’: “But this show is not about me. No, this program is dedicated to you, the heroes. And who are the heroes? The people who watch this show. Average, hard-working Americans. You’re not the elites, you’re not the country-club crowd. I know for a fact that my country club would never let you in.’’

Nov. 3, 2005, interview with Representative Stephanie Tubbs Jones, Democrat of Ohio, in “Better Know a District’’ segment: “Twenty-two astronauts were born in Ohio. What is it about your state that makes people want to flee the Earth?”

Nov. 7, 2006, after Democrats prevailed in the midterm elections: “Tomorrow you’re all going to wake up in a brave new world, a world where the Constitution gets trampled by an army of terrorist clones, created in a stem-cell research lab run by homosexual doctors who sterilize their instruments over burning American flags. Where tax-and-spend Democrats take all your hard-earned money and use it to buy electric cars for National Public Radio, and teach evolution to illegal immigrants. Oh, and everybody’s high!”

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Dec. 16, 2010, in response to a column by Bill O’Reilly that asserted “The Lord helps those who help themselves’’:
“If this is going to be a Christian nation that doesn’t help the poor, either we’ve got to pretend that Jesus was just as selfish as we are, or we’ve got to acknowledge that he commanded us to love the poor and serve the needy without condition — and then admit that we just don’t want to do it.’’

June 6, 2012, interviewing Neil Patrick Harris: “But you’re also the biggest threat of all: You’re a gay person I like. Your threat is that you make being gay not seem threatening. It’s almost as if your happiness does not take my happiness away.’’

June 19, 2012, focusing on the fact that a horse co-owned by Ann Romney, wife of GOP candidate Mitt Romney, was slated to compete in the equestrian competition at the Olympics:
“There is no better way to dispel the myth that Romney is detached, patrician, elite than competitive horse prancing. I mean, it’s basically NASCAR in a velvet top hat.’’

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