My, what a journey it’s been for Pepe the Frog , the once-lovable Internet frog who’s found a new role as a mascot in the memes of the alt-right. Much like that kid who sat behind you in algebra, Pepe has slowly transitioned from carefree stoner with a catchphrase (“feels good man”) to raging racist Twitter trainwreck. Even the Clinton campaign has taken notice of Pepe’s upsetting new attitude (and matching hairdo), releasing a painfully lame explainer of the whole Pepe phenomenon. “Well, that’s a shame,” said Kermit to himself, calmly sipping tea.
Starting Sept. 19, Twitter will no longer count attachments (i.e. videos, GIFs, racist Pepe memes), quoted tweets, or usernames at the beginning of replies against the 140-character limit of tweets. “I’m excited to see even more dialogue because of this,” CEO Jack Dorsey told the Verge when the change was announced back in May. “I can fit like 12 more bees now!” screamed every Beyoncé fan in unison.
RUMOUR HAS IT
Local rubes worried local authorities this week after a fraudulent Facebook event page claimed that superstar singer Adele would perform a “one-night-only” gig at the Quincy Center T stop. (Where the sound kind of sucks, actually.) Fearing the effects of unprecedented levels of self-pity on the structural integrity of the station, MBTA police swiftly thumbed out a trio of tweets designed to dissuade the swooning masses from showing up. “The only things rolling in the deep here are our comfortable, reliable Red Line cars, am I right?” said the version of me that’s a spokesperson for the MBTA. (Hire me. You’d get gold like this every day.)
Forty-seven grackles fell dead from the sky in Dorchester, which is surprisingly not the beginning of a really long nursery rhyme. Health and environmental officials are investigating what could have possibly caused the birds’ death, but early theories suggest they were only waiting for this moment to arise.
MICHAEL ANDOR BRODEUR
Michael Andor Brodeur can be reached at