Take it from aspiring fashion gossip columnist Eddie Scarry of something called the Washington Examiner (?), but the hot (or warm) new look for ascendent freshman congresswomen who literally can’t afford the rent in D.C. but still have the nerve to own a winter coat this season is “Not Struggling.” “Hill staffer sent me this pic of [Alexandria] Ocasio-Cortez they took just now,” tweeted Scarry along with a furtively shot photo of the newly-elected New York representative walking down a hall and carrying a coat (rather than swaddling herself in burlap). “I'll tell you something: that jacket and coat don't look like a girl who struggles.” It’s unclear if the tweet was followed by an upward snap of the fingers and a sassy glance at the camera, but after Twitter roasted Scarry to a golden-brown crisp, he deleted the tweet and tried to pass his creepy reportage off as a misunderstood compliment.
EX IN EXPLOSION
Elsewhere in women casually destroying things, a Texas woman celebrated her recent divorce by blowing up her wedding dress in a fiery blast that could be “felt from miles away” (and presumably deep in the ex-hubby’s craw) and which quickly went viral. “It was soooo awesome,” she told the website Circa. “It was bigger and louder than I could have imagined." No word on how this doomed relationship first got started, but sources say the woman initiated the explosion using tinder.
What do you get when you cross single-serving slices of American cheese, the family dog, and our collective desperate need to be liked? Well, before any of you get too excited, the answer is not much. More specifically, you get the latest in a long line of Internet challenges with unambitious branding: Dog Cheese . The rules are simple: Own a dog, hold a slice of cheese, lob the slice of cheese onto your dog, post the resultant video to Twitter, and spend a few hours examining the choices you’ve made in your life that brought you to this moment. (I added that last one.)
Remember the days before smartphones when we were “just people living in the moment”? Yeah, me either. But apparently they happened, because a new meme is actively assembling a misty-eyed gallery of archival evidence that captures actual scenes from those long-gone disconnected days of yore, like The Last Supper, or that scene from “The Lord of the Rings,” or the beheading of Holofernes. Just real people living their lives without constantly feeling like they have to impress everyone. I miss it. Now if you’ll excuse me I have to try and get my deposit back on this partially charred tuxedo.
MICHAEL ANDOR BRODEUR