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Oh, hey there, Weekenders.
Don’t mind me if I seem a little sullen or distant this week. I just haven’t felt like myself the past few days. I’ve baked zero cookies; I’ve got no obligations that involve me gossiping about my co-workers with their wives’ co-workers; I haven’t used Scotch tape in like nine days and all the nog has expired. I think I’m having holiday withdrawal.
Martin Luther King Jr. Day isn’t for another week (which — fun project alert — is just enough time to pickle your own pigs’ feet). So in the meantime I need to quell my holiday jonesing with some substitutes. You might not get any time off for these holidays, but rest assured, you won’t get any time off from them either.
WONKA VISION: National Milk Day (Jan. 11) seems like as opportune a time as any to take in the musical adaptation of Roald Dahl’s belovedly bizarre tale of the perils of sweet tooths and fizzy lifting drinks, “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” — though you have all weekend in case you really want to spend Friday focused on milk. Starring Noah Weisberg as Mr. Wonka) and directed by 79-year-old stage vet and kid at heart Jack O’Brien, the Broadway in Boston show is at Boston Opera House through Jan. 20. Find tickets here. (Please note: Much to the posthumous chagrin of National Milk Day’s founding fathers, you might have to inspect your milk yourself. Careful out there.)
HART WARMER: Alexander Hamilton turns a spry 262 years old this Friday (but tickets to his party are like impossible to get). You can, however, celebrate his unapologetic spirit this weekend as sorry/not sorry erstwhile Oscar-host hopeful Kevin Hart teams up with Bryan Cranston for “The Upside,” a remake of a French film that tells the tale of a quadriplegic billionaire (Cranston), his executive assistant (Nicole Kidman), and his “life auxiliary” (Hart). Globe critic Mark Feeney tosses it 2½ stars (which I think come standard with Kidman). Now screening.
GAEL FORCE: Globe film critic Ty Burr gives three stars to “Museo,” an “off-kilter, character-driven dramatization of the 1985 heist of priceless artifacts from Mexico’s National Museum of Anthropology” starring Gael García Bernal and directed by Alonso Ruizpalacios. It’s showing at the Museum of Fine Arts on various dates through Jan. 30 — though it opens on Friday, the birthday of another esteemed director from Mexico City, Alfonso Arau (“Like Water for Chocolate”).
OUR GANG: There’s no national holiday for Chris Doherty, the founding member of legendary Boston punk outfit Gang Green, but for all he’s done to put Boston punk on the map (in the form of a bootprint), there oughta be. Still, Not a Wasted Night will come pretty close. A stacked lineup of punk heroes, heavies, and elders including the Dogmatics, Evan Dando, The FUs, The Outlets, Slapshot, Springa (of SSD), TREE, Unnatural Axe, White Dynomite, Worm, and the Skate to Hell Band (featuring former members of Gang Green) will gather at the Paradise on Friday to raise funds for Doherty, who recently suffered a stroke. Grab tickets here.
GOLDEN PAWNED: At Chelsea TheatreWorks this weekend (and through Jan. 20), you can catch the Apollinaire Theatre Company’s production of “Two Mile Hollow,” playwright Leah Nanako Winkler’s sharp, satirical response to the “white people by the water’’ genre of contemporary theater — familiar to anyone who has spent disproportionate hours watching various iterations of a “privileged, dysfunctional white family gather[ing] at their seaside home to air family secrets and find redemption.” In Winkler’s version, these roles are played by actors of color, and those familiar tropes, according to writer Terry Byrne, “are turned on their heads.” Find tickets here. (And there’s a 3 p.m. show on Sunday in case you’re among the tens of families celebrating National Sunday Supper Day.)
OUTRAGEOUS FORTUNE: On Friday, a.k.a. National Step in the Puddle and Splash Your Friends Day (not joking), you can catch the rapturously funny Fortune Feimster, whom you may have spotted appearing on “The Mindy Project” or popping up alongside Chelsea Handler (or on “Chelsea” playing Sarah Huckabee Sanders). Feimster will be kicking off her national tour at the Wilbur and a just couple rows of seats remain, possibly more depending on how seriously people take this puddle holiday. Tickets here.
CASE CLOTHED: Heads up, National Hat Day isn’t until Tuesday, but you can get ahead of the celebrations at “Fashioning the New England Family,” an “eye-opening” array of historical garments including, according to the Globe’s Mark Feeney, “petticoats, a three-corner hat, a silk baptismal apron, canes, waistcoats, shoe buckles, fans (one of them used by a Union officer in the Civil War), purses, and at least one wig,” which is on display at the Massachusetts Historical Society through March 29. Consider pairing that visit with one to “With These Hands: Mill Workers 1973-1977, Photographs by Steve Dunwell,” a show of two-dozen black and white photos of textile mill workers, showing at Waltham’s Charles River Museum of Industry and Innovation through Jan. 24. Find more info here .
DEAR JOHN: The 80th birthday of celebrated composer John Harbison should be a holiday in itself — and on Saturday you can hear Harbison’s Symphony No. 2 as performed by the Boston Symphony Orchestra (last performed under James Levine in 2010). On Sunday, the Boston Symphony Chamber Players will offer a program devoted to his music as well as some Bach (Cantata No. 51) for good measure. Find tickets and full program information here.
OR STAY IN! You may be up to your ears in National Rubber Ducky Day festivities on Sunday, but if there’s a TV near the tub you can catch the season premiere of HBO’s divisive crime drama “True Detective.” This third season find Golden Globe winner Mahershala Ali and Stephen Dorff holding the badges as the story leaps through three time periods in the Ozarks. Globe TV critic Matthew Gilbert remains cautiously optimistic: “The new ‘True Detective’ is more enjoyable as a crime drama featuring a few strong performances and a textured Ozarks setting than it is as some kind of laden meditation on death, memory, and the tar pits of human nature,” he writes.
And starting Friday on Netflix, you can binge watch “Sex Education,” a promising British series starring Gillian Anderson as a sex therapist with an eavesdropping virgin. (I’m paraphrasing, OK?)
And if the TV is staying off this weekend, consider cozying up with “Little Dancer Aged Fourteen,” a new book by Camille Laurens that looks at the girl who modeled for Edgar Degas’s one and only sculpture. (Of the 22 in existence, three are in Massachusetts: one at the MFA, one at Harvard Art Museums, and one at the Clark Art Institute in Williamstown). Maybe bake some madeleines for your stay on the couch (it’s National Marzipan Day).
And that, holiday-hungry Weekenders, is all I’ve got on my calendar for you this week. However you spend your weekend, make it one you’ll miss come Monday — a.k.a. National Dress Up Your Pet Day (and send pics!!)
See you next time!Michael Andor Brodeur can be reached at email@example.com. Follow him on Twitter @MBrodeur.