Sometimes, Donald Trump makes it too easy for late night comedy writers. This was one of those times.
“Saturday Night Live” has once again skewered Trump during a cold open. This week, the show took aim at recently unearthed lewd comments Trump made about women in 2005.
Alec Baldwin, who once again played Trump, summed up the GOP nominee’s hubris with a question: “Are you not entertained?”
Faux-Trump couldn’t quite bring himself to apologize, however.
“I deeply apple-gize,” said Baldwin.
“Are you trying to say apologize?” asked “SNL” cast member Cecily Strong in her role as a newscaster.
“No, I would never do that,” replied Baldwin. “What I am doing is apple-gizing to all the people who were offended by my statements, but more importantly to the people who were turned on by them. I hear it’s really 50-50.”
Baldwin-as-Trump then said he was just trying to look cool in front of television personality Billy Bush when he made the crass comments.
“What normal red-blooded American doesn’t want to impress the Billy Bush?” he asked, before adding, “Yes you have to admit it’s kind of funny that the only Bush that matters in this election is Billy.”
He then disparaged Republicans who had pulled their support from his candidacy, including Arizona Senator John McCain (“coward”), former GOP presidential candidate Carly Fiorina (“she’s a four”), and Idaho Senator Mike Crapo (“more like crap-o.”)
Asked what he would say to women voters, Baldwin’s Trump, in a reference to the real estate mogul’s 2005 comments, responded, “Women if you give me a chance I promise I can do a whole more than just grab it. I can bop it, twist it.”
Faux-Trump then offered his condolences to the people of Florida affected by Hurricane Matthew, before he found himself caught in a hot mic moment.
“I wish I was that hurricane tearing through all of that hot Miami (expletive),” he said. “I would just destroy it.”
“Mr. Trump, we can still hear you,” said Strong.
“Really? Then I apple-gize.”
The fake newscast then cut to a celebratory Hillary Clinton, played by “SNL” cast member Kate McKinnon.
“It’s a very, very sad day for our country, and for all women,” said faux-Clinton. “Minus one.”
Asked if Trump should drop out, McKinnon replied,” No, no, no. Give him a shot!”
She then addressed women who were still planning to vote for Trump.
“My babies, ya brain broke,” she said.