I'm excited to announce today, on April 1, that I have successfully petitioned NASA to rename Uranus to something more appropriate.— Buzz Aldrin (@TheRealBuzz) April 2, 2019
joe biden imagines himself naked whenever he’s nervous before a big speech— putting a misfits decal on the mazda cx5 i leased (@jackdwagner) April 3, 2019
Two things can be true:— Bitter Script Reader (@BittrScrptReadr) April 3, 2019
1) Biden’s touchy-feeley ways are creepy. Even if not disqualifing, they should not be minimized.
2) the entire media force that gave President Pussy-Grabber a pass has no credibility in this discussion, nor do those who voted for him
It’s gotta be hard to politician all day: Outrage outrage bad idea outrage kiss a baby outrage touch someone inappropriately whine tweet defend— PK (@pjk01141969) April 1, 2019
comb a salad outrage smear preen for Time.
OMG, there’s a few minutes left in the day to feel and fuel outrage, before passing out.
simple plan for getting out of debt: wait for society to collapse— Miles Klee (@MilesKlee) April 2, 2019
A white guy with a clipboard just asked me if I had a minute to end white supremacy. All it takes is a minute!? Does he know something I don't?— Jason Shiga (@jasonshiga) April 2, 2019
If you're a guy, could you please take five minutes to meditate on a reality in which all 45 presidents of the US have been female? & in which your great grandfather couldn't vote? If you're a white dude, imagine that for some reason ALL 45 except one have been, say Asian women.— Rebecca Makkai (@rebeccamakkai) April 2, 2019
just thinking about the enormous energy that would be unleashed on the world if every woman got all the time back she’d spent wondering if she was fat and hating herself for being fat. my god. the world would change— Talia Lavin (@chick_in_kiev) April 2, 2019
I'm getting questioned about the accuracy of some of the assertions in my online bio, and it's upsetting, but I stand by this core truth: Marzipan is disgusting and worthy of our disdain.— Jeff Chu (@jeffchu) April 3, 2019