Q. I’m a 25-year-old woman who accomplished what all 20-somethings want right now. I got my dream job straight out of college and then got a promotion that moved me to Chicago. After about a month in Chicago, I met my current boyfriend, “Mitchell.” He’s a 28-year-old who went to college but only got a tech degree after dropping out from his school. I don’t care about that, but what has been getting to me in the last six months of our 2½-year relationship is his inability to get motivated. He doesn’t like the job he has, isn’t happy, and we’re starting to move apart. We moved in together seven months ago. I travel a lot for my job, and am constantly feeling like I not only have to manage my clients, but also him. He’s a really sweet guy who adores me, but I am always feeling like I am the older and more responsible person in the relationship. I’ve noticed that a lot of this “It’s not my problem” or “I’m smart but I just didn’t have the right things given to me” stems a lot from his family too, so it’s been ingrained in him.
I come from an extremely hard-working Italian-Portuguese family from the South Coast, so I work really hard all the time. I don’t want to give up on this because I really do love him, but I’ll try to talk to him about our issues and it seems to just go on deaf ears. I keep getting advice from my friends my age that I need to give him an ultimatum, but I feel like that’s really immature. I feel like I keep giving him the second chance he asks for, but his actions do not reflect his words. I’m mature enough to know when something isn’t working, but when I love someone, I really love them and don’t want to give up. My good friend out here keeps telling me that I should just end it now and find that great forever-guy, but I just don’t know. What do you think?