You can now read 5 articles in a month for free on BostonGlobe.com. Read as much as you want anywhere and anytime for just 99¢.

Red Sox Live

0

0

Game starts at 7:10 PM

Ask Amy

Recipient of restraining order shows none

Dear Readers: I am stepping away from the “Ask Amy” column for a week. I hope you enjoy these hand-picked “best of” columns in my absence.

Q. I’ve been sexually involved with an “unhappily” married man. I love him deeply, and he tells me he loves me. Due to my daughter’s interference, his wife found out about us and obtained a restraining order on me.

Continue reading below

I’ve contested it, and he is begging me not to show up to court because the story will come out. I don’t want to lose him. He says he’ll work out ways to see me. I just don’t know what to do.

A. And people wonder why our court system is so backed up. If there is a restraining order against you, then your choices are to comply, contest, or violate it.

If you contest it, you risk exposing this story. If you violate it, you could end up in jail. Your boyfriend seems willing to have you risk jail time rather than risk face time with his wife.

What a weasel. FYI, I looked up “weasel” in the dictionary and learned that a weasel feeds on mice and rats, and is able to suck out the contents of an egg without destroying its shell. A weasel is sly and sneaky.

Of course, you sound like something of a weasel, too. Under other circumstances, this might have been a match made in heaven, but as it is, you need to find another hobby.

Q. I am a 32-year-old woman. About a year ago I met a wonderful man. He is kind and compassionate and very supportive. I have yet to tell my family about this romance, because this man is part of it. Part of my family, that is. He is my third cousin. We are related only through marriage. He has proposed to me, and I would love to spend the rest of my life with him.

However, I do not think my family would understand. I love him and can’t bear the thought of being without him. I do not think I could get married without my family’s support.

I hate lying to my family and want to go about this the right way. Please help!

A. I might be missing a sensitive bit of information here that is preventing me from understanding why this is such a dramatic scenario for you.

Let’s review: He’s wonderful. You adore him. He’s asked you to marry him.

Please don’t tell me that the fact that he is very distantly related by marriage to you is the source of your distress. Do you realize that Prince Charles is probably as closely related to you as your third cousin by marriage is?

The beauty here is that you don’t have to break the bad news to your family that you are betrothed to Prince Charles. You get to say the following: “Family, I have great news! I’m so happy! I’m getting married to the most wonderful man!”

The worst thing you’ve done here is to act ashamed of this relationship. It’s time to hold your head up and share your joy with your folks.

Q. My guy just broke up with me, and I’m frantic. What’s the best way to get him back?

A. The only method I know for sure is to stop caring. Once you really stop caring, they have a way of coming back. By then, of course . . . you don’t care.

Amy Dickinson can be reached at askamy@tribune.com. Follow her on Twitter @askingamy or “like” her on Facebook.
Subscriber Log In

We hope you've enjoyed your 5 free articles'

Stay informed with unlimited access to Boston’s trusted news source.

  • High-quality journalism from the region’s largest newsroom
  • Convenient access across all of your devices
  • Today’s Headlines daily newsletter
  • Subscriber-only access to exclusive offers, events, contests, eBooks, and more
  • Less than 25¢ a week
Marketing image of BostonGlobe.com
Marketing image of BostonGlobe.com
Already a subscriber?
Your city. Your stories. Your Globe.
Yours FREE for two weeks.
Enjoy free unlimited access to Globe.com for the next two weeks.
Limited time only - No credit card required!
BostonGlobe.com complimentary digital access has been provided to you, without a subscription, for free starting today and ending in 14 days. After the free trial period, your free BostonGlobe.com digital access will stop immediately unless you sign up for BostonGlobe.com digital subscription. Current print and digital subscribers are not eligible for the free trial.
Thanks & Welcome to Globe.com
You now have unlimited access for the next two weeks.
BostonGlobe.com complimentary digital access has been provided to you, without a subscription, for free starting today and ending in 14 days. After the free trial period, your free BostonGlobe.com digital access will stop immediately unless you sign up for BostonGlobe.com digital subscription. Current print and digital subscribers are not eligible for the free trial.