RAINBOW NOT SO BRIGHT
Vintage JCPenney men’s catalog come to life and talk-radio host Bryan Fischer took to Twitter this week to demand that the LGBT community return the rainbow it “stole” from noted inventor, God, calling it “the worst example of cultural appropriation ever.” (I kind of have to agree with that part.) “It’s his. He invented it. Gen. 9:11-17. Give it back.” I don’t know Mr. Fischer from Adam (or Steve, for that matter), but let’s just say that as a child, I had a little game where I played Defender of the Rainbow against a legion of evil fairies, and my folks definitely had a sense of what was up.
What happens when Donald Trump becomes president? Well, let me direct you to Mashable writer Sam Speedy’s account of a masterful Trump simulation he unleashed upon the world of The Sims 3. He built a replica of Trump from the loafers up, programming in key traits (“Ambitious, Childish, Hot-Headed”) and motivations (“Leader of the Free World”), even his astrological sign (Gemini . . . of course he’s a Gemini). The result is a wild ride that involves Trump working his way up the government ladder, achieving his ultimate goal, and closing out his (six) remaining days by watching TV in his bathrobe and craving simulated fries. That’s what we call sliding into home.
A few boughs down the Trump tree, a dance party of LGBTQ activists broke out (as they are lately wont to do) in front of Ivanka Trump and Jared Kushner’s Washington, D.C., residence this week, prompting one neighbor to emerge upon her doorstep with a glass of wine and a smile — just to drink it all in, dahling. Appropriately, Twitter greeted the “national treasure” that is Ivanka Trump’s smug neighbor with a warmth rivaled only by her giant fur coat: “Je suis Ivanka’s petty neighbor.” (You still have to move your car.)
If you ever go a hot date with a neural network, do yourself a favor and just make reservations somewhere. If you let it cook dinner, you might end up with Artichoke Gelatin Dogs served with Crockpot Cold Water and Completely Meat Chocolate Pie for dessert. Research scientist and Tumblr fave Janelle Shane has spent months feeding a neural network a steady diet cookbooks hoping it could eventually learn to wow in the kitchen. Instead it’s been burping up a lot of vague ingredients (“¼ lb fresh surface,” ½ cup with no noodles,” “1 chunks”) and recipes for potentially hazardous treats like cookies notched up with “prepared pastry tuna” and “squid ingredients.” Worse yet, this is just giving Guy Fieri ideas.
MICHAEL ANDOR BRODEUR