It’s the halfway point of what David Ortiz swears will be his final season, and so far the Red Sox slugger’s haul of gifts from opposing teams has been fairly modest.
Consider this: When Yankees closer Mariano Rivera retired, the Cleveland Indians gave him a gold record of Metallica’s “Enter Sandman,” the song that played when Mo entered a game at Yankee Stadium. And when Yanks shortstop Derek Jeter called it quits, the Rays gave him a kayak.
The Red Sox’s division rivals — the Yanks, Orioles, Rays, and Blue Jays — are all waiting to give Papi a present until he plays his final game at their place. But what gives with the Atlanta Braves, which put together a measly video tribute to Papi?
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The Twins — the team that released Ortiz after the 2002 season — presented the Sox DH with a gag gift of a 64-ounce jar of Big Papi “Super Hunk” Skippy peanut butter (and a $10,000 donation in Ortiz’s name to a scholarship fund run by the family of the late Kirby Puckett); the Houston Astros gave him a Stetson cowboy hat; Ortiz got a handmade humidor and 50 Davidoff cigars from the White Sox; The Royals ponied up a framed portrait of Papi at the 2012 All-Star Game in Kansas City and an assortment of BBQ sauces; Giants Hall of Famer Willie McCovey presented Ortiz with a bell from a San Francisco cable car; and the Texas Rangers gave the slugger a pair of custom cowboy boots with “Big” on one boot and “Papi” on the other.
Not bad, but we’re expecting the Yankees to do better. We only hope it isn’t a multimillion-dollar offer to play one more season in the Bronx.