Getting comfortable with Plan B

After seeing yet another musty fixer-upper (that’s still out of your price range), it can be easy to blame yourself or your spouse for not making more, saving more, or having a wealthy and generous great aunt. Jessica Slavin Connelly, a Malden psychotherapist, offers advice.


1. Embrace your feelings: Situational depression, brought on by changes in circumstances, can be thought of as the death of a dream. Anger, frustration, and envy are all OK to feel, but then try to see the house-buying challenge as a small part of a much bigger picture.

2. Counter black-and-white thinking: In situations that are stressful, we can begin to communicate reactively and think that our decisions are etched in stone. Remember that every decision is “for the time being.”



3. Take care of yourself: If you put your life on hold while waiting to find your dream house, you may miss out on years. Think about how you can move forward — and, yes, have a little fun — while on the journey.

Kara Baskin