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When fertility comments leave a pregnant pause

It’s easy to fumble for words when on the receiving end of a comment about fertility. Alice Domar, who runs the Domar Center for Mind-Body Health at Boston IVF, offers clients handy comebacks for common conversations.

For families trying to conceive:

“Just relax!”

“We already tried that approach, but we’ve moved on to proven treatments.”

“Are you sure you’re doing everything right?”

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“We had it down to an art years ago. Now it’s a science!”

For miscarrying families:

“It wasn’t meant to be.”

“If it wasn’t meant to be, why did I get pregnant?”

“You want kids so much? Take mine!”

“In a heartbeat.”

For families with secondary infertility:

“You should be happy to have one!”

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“We are grateful to have a child — but few people plan on having only one.”

For childless families:

“When are you two planning to start a family?”

“We already are a family.”

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