When fertility comments leave a pregnant pause

It’s easy to fumble for words when on the receiving end of a comment about fertility. Alice Domar, who runs the Domar Center for Mind-Body Health at Boston IVF, offers clients handy comebacks for common conversations.

For families trying to conceive:

“Just relax!”

“We already tried that approach, but we’ve moved on to proven treatments.”

“Are you sure you’re doing everything right?”


“We had it down to an art years ago. Now it’s a science!”

For miscarrying families:

“It wasn’t meant to be.”

“If it wasn’t meant to be, why did I get pregnant?”

“You want kids so much? Take mine!”

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“In a heartbeat.”

For families with secondary infertility:

“You should be happy to have one!”

“We are grateful to have a child — but few people plan on having only one.”

For childless families:

“When are you two planning to start a family?”

“We already are a family.”

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