TWO FOR THE AGES
Thank you for your article on how millennials are changing the rules of the game (“Lessons From the Young . . . And Not So Young,” February 9). I could deeply relate to the philosophy that one’s happiness and success are one’s own responsibility. The article emphasizes that, with big business letting us down, millennials are seeking new means for happiness and success. I believe that with the dearth of employment, we are actually being given opportunities to strive further than we would have otherwise. When I completed my masters of education in 2008, the stock market hadn’t crashed yet, but the teaching market already had. I pushed through two years of very low-paying educational work before deciding to start my own company, Boston Tutoring Services LLC. I now own a successful business and would not have had the guts to start it if it had been easy to find teaching work elsewhere. When we are forced to seek happiness and success on our own, we strive harder and further and gain more satisfaction from that which we created.
Super pieces of writing. I had an old time social worker supervisor tell me, “It’s all about the relationship.” So true.
posted at bostonglobe.com
Commenting on how cheerful people “deceive themselves” (“Use Your Delusion,” February 9), Moshe Bar cites experimental evidence that “depressed individuals . . . seem to see reality in a more accurate manner than the non-depressed.” However, as Bar well knows, highly artificial experiments involving (as he notes) “mildly depressed individuals” do not simulate the mental state of clinically depressed people. Numerous studies of cognitive and perceptual abilities in patients with major depressive disorder leave little doubt that these individuals perform poorly compared with non-depressed controls on many measures, including their ability to read the facial expressions of others accurately. Serious depression distorts reality, and we are deceived if we buy into facile myths regarding the so-called adaptive value of major depression.
Dr. Ronald W. Pies
I just wanted to take the time to thank Nancy McCarthy for her wonderful essay (Connections, February 9). I treasured her memories about her dear Mom, who, exhausted and overtaxed, still took the time to re-purpose, with love, her exquisite Valentine’s Day dress. What a gift! I bet the writer was a big hit that day. Thanks for sharing such wonderful memories, and how nice that she has such a memory to revisit time and time again.
Hampton, New Hampshire
When I was in the sixth grade, I was asked to be in charge of the distribution of valentines the next day. It was 70 years ago, and I wanted something special to wear. My dad was not able to afford a new dress, so I took an old white dress and made red hearts to sew all over it. I don’t know how well it was done, but I wore it and felt special that Valentine’s Day. Thanks for bringing back a memory from my past.
I am sorry to say this, but as a parent of three, I couldn’t feel more opposed to Melissa Schorr’s opinion about shielding her children from the dark clouds in the universe (Connections, February 2). Parents have a responsibility to their children to help them navigate the world they live in. We are here to explain, question, comfort, educate, and reveal all the colors of the world to their growing minds. This falls within the role of parenting, as far as I see it. To shield our children from the Nazis at the end of The Sound of Music is to show them a one-dimensional view of this world when they live in a 3-D world. They know good and bad exist within themselves, so why should it not in the rest of the world? Could shielding them put these children at risk of believing they are alone or odd because of their dark thoughts or “bad behavior”? I think it can. Adults are routinely underestimating the intelligence of children. We grown-ups think we can handle “it” and that children cannot. To reveal one side of this world while ignoring the other says to children, “Show us your bright side only.” It doesn’t say, “Show me all of you and I will love you.”
Parents who shield their children from bad news are not protecting them. They’re protecting themselves. I’m the mother of two and the grandmother of four ranging in age from 7 to 23. My parents never shielded me. I did not shield my children, nor do they shield theirs. Children will shield themselves from information that is scary to them, but their questions should always be answered honestly.
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