GEORGE SIMPSON: 31 / graduate student
When he is happiest: When an old friend makes him laugh. When he wakes up in a new country. Zumba.
Last thing he read: The Machine Stops, a 1909 dystopian novella by E.M. Forster
JOSHUA ROBERTS: 31 / executive assistant
On a desert island, he’d bring: Machete, flare gun, someone to keep him entertained
His perfect date: A speak-easy is always cool.
7 P.M. CARRIE NATION, BEACON HILL
> TIME TO PARTAKE
George My friend and I were bored on Valentine’s Day, so we started filling out the questions.
Joshua Single life (partying, clubs, loud music) skeeves me out. I live in a constant state of fear of becoming the gay male version of the “Crazy Cat Lady.” My friend told me about Dinner With Cupid, but I honestly didn’t expect to hear back.
George I thought about my outfit. I wanted to look like I had made some effort — but not TOO much effort.
Joshua I woke up, went to the gym, came home, and did my manscaping. You’d be surprised how much trimming the hedges can boost the ole confidence.
George I learned in public speaking class that feeling nervous is natural. I remembered this advice and tried to apply it. What did I have to lose?
Joshua I was really excited. You never know when or how you’ll meet Prince Charming, right? Of course, I got lost. . . . I chalked it up to the Universe’s way of making me fashionably late. A perky hostess showed me to the table.
George He’s a handsome guy. Clean-cut, fresh-faced, with a touch of a pompadour.
Joshua George was very all-American; he wasn’t really the type of guy I go for.
> HATCHET JOB?
George He opted for something slate-green called the Penicillin. I got an Old Fashioned. Boring or classic?
Joshua George told me the lounge is [named for] some pro-Prohibition psychotic activist that would go into bars and start chopping with an ax. I’d go to this place again just for the story behind it.
George He’s from Louisiana; he’s handy and likes to fix up his places; he loved Ursula from The Little Mermaid growing up — the same creature who terrified me as a child.
Joshua We talked about where each other was from and what we do for work. George and I didn’t have much in common.
George I ordered a lamb roast. It was good.
Joshua The food was amazing. I had the steak, which I won’t soon forget.
George I felt pretty comfortable. It takes me awhile to get to know people.
Joshua I never got the sense George was having fun. I’m not sure if he didn’t get my humor or if people have been lying to me and I’m actually not that funny. Things seemed to stay in this awkward murk.
George It would have been nice to walk around a bit . . . but it was pretty chilly.
Joshua We exchanged a brief hug and parted ways.
> SECOND DATE?
George Who can say?
Joshua Nothing personal, just wasn’t meant to be.
George / A
Joshua / C-