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Lobster or clam? There can be only one summer seafood king.

A highly unscientific analysis of which seafood most deserves New Englanders’ adoration.

Photos from Shutterstock

Of course, fishing is a year-round industry in New England — in 2014, the region’s commercial catch totaled 643 million pounds and contributed $1.2 billion to the economy. But nothing says “summer” here more tastily than lobster rolls and fried clams. (And, of course, the mandatory soft-serve afterward.) So let’s ponder this: Which seafood makes the season most savory?

> WHAT’LL IT COST YA?

Clams: $5.99 per pound, steamers, the Clam Man, Falmouth

Lobsters: $9.99 per pound, Yankee Lobster Company, Boston

> DO THEY HAVE A BRAIN?

Clams: Not a Rhodes scholar; just a few ganglia, or collections of nerve cells

Lobsters: Sort of (i.e., a collection of ganglia the size of a ballpoint-pen tip)

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> PEAK OF DELICIOUSNESS

Clams: 11 years for surf clams, around 90 — yes, 90 — for quahogs (age before wisdom)

Lobsters: A 1-pound lobster is probably 5 to 7 years old.

> YEARS THEY CAN LIVE IF YOU DON’T EAT THEM

Clams: A clam named Ming was killed in 2006 by scientists who later determined it had been 507 years old and the oldest living creature of any kind.

Lobsters: George, believed to be 140, was caught in Maine in 2009. It’s possible Ming the Clam baby-sat him. (Scientists now say it’s likely George’s age was grossly overestimated. Poser!)

> SNOB FACTOR

Clams: Clams Casino, popularized in 1917 in Kingston, Rhode Island

Lobsters: Lobster Newberg, introduced in 1876 by sea captain Ben Wenberg, a patron, to the chef at Delmonico’s in New York

> BIB SUGGESTED?

Clams: Only if you’re still in a highchair

Lobsters: Yes, but your sex appeal will plummet.

> SPONGEBOB CRED

Clams: Sandy and SpongeBob meet when she rescues him from a giant clam.

Lobsters: Larry the Lobster, a narcissistic bodybuilding lifeguard crustacean

> CINEMATIC SHOUT-OUT

Clams: “Now, the lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce and a Coke with no ice.”  — Mike Damone, Fast Times at Ridgemont High

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Lobsters: “Talk to him! You speak shellfish.”  — Alvy Singer to Annie Hall in Annie Hall

> CAN YOU DANCE TO IT?

Clams: “Do the Clam,” Elvis Presley, 1965

Lobsters: “Rock Lobster,” the B-52’s, 1979

> SARTORIAL HOMAGE

Clams: Clamdiggers

Lobsters: Lady Gaga’s silver lobster hat

> THE VERDICT

Clams: Though delicious steamed or fried, clams are the underwater equivalent of Pet Rocks.

Lobsters: Lobsters claw their way to the top on the basis of personality alone.


SOURCES: woodmans.com; thenakedscientist.com; sciencenordic.com; NOAA; People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals; New England Aquarium; foodtimeline.org; whatscookingamerica.net; SpongeBob SquarePants fan site; spongebob.wikia.com; IMDb.com; youtube.com; nymag.com